Change to a liquid diet: as long as you swallow quietly

Misophonia! It is a thing, and I have it.

Eating noises, man. They make me want to scream words unbecoming of a lady. Or leave the room. Or possibly stab myself in the ear.

Chewing is SO BAD. Gulping is pretty awful too.

Worst of all is teeth meeting utensil. Why do people chew their forks? Stainless steel has no nutritional value!


This is one reason why I like restaurants: they are loud enough to drown out the horrible and gross sounds of mastication. (Also: no dishes to wash.)

(Thanks, extinction, for making sure I never have to hear a mastodon masticate.)

On the other hand, I like crunchy snacks.

7 thoughts on “Change to a liquid diet: as long as you swallow quietly

  1. Melissa Lee

    Thank you for this.
    Yesterday on NPR, a reporter decided that it was appropriate to slurp his soup THREE TIMES during his report. He was demonstrating that the Japanese slurp their soups to show that they like it, but THREE TIMES? I had to change the station.

  2. vmohlere Post author

    droog: Acceptable, because milkshakes should not be wasted, particularly if they are peanut butter milkshakes.

    Sister: I am so glad I missed that. Also, that is the #1 reason why I am skeptical about visiting Asia. Shallow, I know. (Now I am craving nabeyaki udon.)

  3. Gwyn

    You mean there is actually a word for what I have? Huh. Perhaps a nice tabletop fountain would help in aiding your inner peace. And not making you stab people with their gnawed-upon forks.

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