About 6 years ago, my grocery store became a portal to a more perfect dimension. I wandered the aisles with my mouth hanging open in shock.

About every second end cap had a display of Christmas teas.

Twinings! Never seen before or since! (Mulled Wine and Eggnog Spice: both weird. But still.)

Stash! Four different kinds, including a white tea with mint (White Christmas) that I will drink all day long.

Crazy Bigelow flavors called things like Eggnog’n! They are all gross but who cares they were there!

Republic of Tea’s whatever they had for special that year!

And my yearly tea nutbaritude, Celestial Seasonings holiday teas. ALL of them.

Seriously, Nutcracker Sweet is my desert island tea. Tho if I could have THREE desert island teas, ICandy Cane Lane and Sugar Cookie Sleigh Ride would be contenders.

They were ALL in the same store. ALL together.

They did not fit in my cupboard at home.

“The world has leveled up!” I thought. “How great that I will now be able to get all the Christmas teas just from the grocery store every year!”

hahahahahaha no

Even after a special trip to a place that usually will hook me up, I am so far relegated to one tine of Republic of Tea’s Joy to the World green. No others have been forthcoming.

Between that and the complete lack of marzipan fruit to be found (for decorating my birthday gingerbread), Christmas is ruined.

(not really)