What a quiet Christmas we had. I was mostly organized this year (discovered on Christmas Eve that I had neglected stocking stuffers for several people: oops), and the Wickeds didn’t arrive until the 26th. I took time off from 23 Dec to 2 Jan.

I made a nice Roast Beast dinner on Christmas Eve. On the 25th, we had a very quiet day to ourselves. I Skyped with my mother and sister, and later we spent some time with Dingo’s mother, brother, and sister-in-law. Very chill and pleasant. Even having the kids here has been really relaxed and low key.

And I looked forward to it, for the first time in several years. I liked having the tree up (though the lights on the top half gave out not long after we put it up). I liked watching all the old, goofy movies. Pro-tip: avoid the 1992 remake of Christmas in Connecticut.

Still, there has been a lot of weeping. A lot of wistfulness, a lot of missing folks who are no longer here in body. This makes me grateful for how snuggly the cat is when the weather is chilly. On my days off, I’ve been taking a lot of walks – the nice, leg-tiring kind, with carols playing in my headphones. Wish I’d gone this morning, when the air was opaque and the trees dripped from fog. Now it’s clear and sunny. Lovely, but not so much in keeping with my mood.

There were plenty of good things that happened in 2011: my trip to Greece, my new job. But I’m not sorry to see it end. In this in-between time, this quiet, I haven’t let myself set any goals or make any lists. I’m trying to be here. To listen.

My beloved pal Captain Awkward recently wrote a post about “derailing,” which included a conversation about offering up unsolicited advice.

My internal response to that was “oh dear.” I found myself chewing on that idea and becoming suspicious that I might in fact be prone to, as I later put it, “booting up the Idea Factory before anyone has placed an order.”

The next week, I offered up some advice to an online acquaintance who said, in the nicest way possible, “Please don’t assume I haven’t thought of that already. I was venting, not seeking advice.”

Lesson: demonstrated! I thought, score one for self-improvement! Let us move forward, Virginia, a better person!

But since that time I have been the recipient of double handfuls of unsolicited advice, usually on a topic that I have brought up as a joke.

Oh Universe, I get it. I do! Listen without intruding! Okay okay!

I keep wanting to make posts that are either (1) long or (2) picture-heavy, and then not having/making the time to write them, which = no posting! Which sort of negates the whole point of blogging!

So here is a random list of things that have been floating around in my noodle:

– I got a new job in mid-August, which was an excellent and badly needed thing. I still often feel that I have no idea what I’m doing, particularly with big writing projects, but I do a lot of tutoring of baby scientists and helping them with their writing, which I deeply enjoy.

– One of the picture posts is an update on our beautifully tiled bathroom. Some day, we may even fix the floor. Imagine!

– Last night I finished a knitting project and realized that I had NO IDEA what to start next. This, my friends, is what comes of being a little *too* organized with the holiday crafts.

– Speaking of holidays, I’ll have to post a picture of my Christmas tree again this year. The lights have permanently gone out in the top half. DANG it looks terrible.

– Just finished off the last bowl of an excellent pot of soup (I added hot sauce, potentially a sign that I have lived in Texas too long), so now I have both a knitting and a soup deficit. Situation critical!

– I have become one of Those People who drink plain hot water. What the heck. (not instead of tea, in addition to)

– The autumn was quite bad. I had a mean bout of depression, the criminal mastermind behind my long silence. I’ve crawled up out of my hole (I was in it so long I started to furnish the dang thing), but I dropped a lot of good habits while I was stuck. So here I am flabby and out of writing practice, flapping my arms in irritation at myself. I know one can’t help depression, but it sure is annoying.

– We went to Lights in the Heights over the weekend with some friends and had a terrific time. One of the things I dislike about living in the suburbs is the lack of pedestrian friendly, neighborhoody things to do, and this hit the spot. Choirs (vocal and handbell), bands, quartets (string and brass), “pretty lights,” and excellent company. I do love me some Christmas lights.

How’s that for a quick and dirty update? (not too dirty) Now I’m off to sip some hot water and write about RNA interference. Schmancy!